Every day is different around here. If I were a super awesome Mom, Ben would nap at exactly 12:30 pm for exactly three hours and I would be well rested and looking cute everyday. And I would probably own a pair of Lululemons. Well none of this exists here, I have a cheerio stuck in my hair and Ben naps whenever he bloody feels like it, much to my chagrin. And I'm afraid Sephora doesn't have a single thing that will mimic rest on this face of mine.
Today was interesting on many levels. After a very sleepless night Ben decided to carry the trend through the day and refuse sleep of any kind. All. Day. Long. And that's no fun on a good day, but on a day following a night of countless wake ups and cuddles and tears, it was hard on both of us. My eyes hurt.
Most of the day he was a good sport, my sweet Ben. There were a lot of "Mamaaa"s and those sweet little outstretched arms reaching up to be lifted and carried from room to room. And though my back is forever sore and my sweet boy is getting bigger and heavier every day, I carried him every single time he asked me to. We tried many things to find that elusive sleep...long walks, cuddles in the big bed, three episodes of Bubble Guppies. No dice. Sometimes after you've tried all there is to try, the only thing left to do is take a nice long bath smack in the middle of the day.
The hard days are hard. But I know one day I will only remember that little voice calling my name and burying his tiny face in my neck, hoping I will fix whatever it is he needs fixing. Oh Ben, you make my heart ache. Thank you for being so patient with me while I figure out this Mom stuff. Yes, still.
So touching and true! I also keep in mind that in a few years, he won't have time for me at all :)
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